A story of A Knightslayer

Here’s a bit of my story that I wrote, It is only a short part from my novel.

The Story of A Knightslayer(Part II)

This is a Sequel to the original story, which was on my computer until I had to rebuild my computer.

My Story Continues, Dragontamer and I have been having a lot of adventures this week. Dragontamer had to get an amulet from my dad. I visited my mum, found out that I had a half-brother, which she loved more because he was full elf and I was half elf, half wizard.
I saw my half-brother called Rick, thought he was the best, tried to get my mum to accept me. This tale continues…

“So Knightslayer, who is your dad?” said Rick. Dragontamer was walking back and forth and I was standing there looking at Rick.
“Comoni, he’s a famous Wizard,” said Knightslayer. Rick turned his back to Knightslayer. “I can see why your mother hates you, she told me all about it” said Rick.“You’re a wimp”.
Knightslayer then got angry and drew his sword out and ran to Rick to slash him but the sword was blasted out of his hand. Knightslayer turned and saw that Dragontamer did it.
“Dragontamer, you’re underage,” said Knightslayer. “You’re only 20 and you need to be 22 to practice magical spells”. Rick then grinned and then the Police came in.
They handcuffed Dragontamer.
“Dragontamer, you are under arrest for underage magic,” said one of the Policemen. Dragontamer used more magic to break out and ran out of the house. Knightslayer then got confused.
“What has happened to him?” said Knightslayer.
“Is he always like this” said Rick.
“No, this is the only time I have seen him like this” said Knightslayer. “Now he’s acting like a dark magician, instead of a Dragontamer.

I am really sorry for you not having to read part one because of my computer having to be rebuilded though I hope you did like part II

okay…
sure…
I’m only 14 and I practice magic and I dont see any police
It is the magic of the Bean of Power
The only spell is gas blast
It poisions all within 500 feet.

ummmmmmm. yeah… well i guess i would think differently if i had read part one. but by just reading that part. i am going to have give it 4/10 my reasons are: the story started off shaky. and then your story became a tad bit confusing. like all of a sudden i found out that there were 3 ppl in the room. when i had thought that there had only been 2. and your story had a really bad ending. you need to have a conclusion sentence. that just left me hanging.