Some more jokes

made em myself : hope u enjoy!

As much use as a one legged man at an arse kicking competition

She’s angrier than a Bear with a sore head

She’s dressed up like a Dogs dinner

About as useful as a Condom vending machine in the Vatican.

He’s that useless he couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery

She’s been up and down more times than a whore’s drawers

She’s been engaged more times than a telephone switchboard!

He’s tighter than a photo finish.

He’s sweating more than a Dog in a restaraunt

He’s got a head balder than a baby’s arse.

He’s got the dress sense of an Oxfam model.

He’s got a nose like a blind carpenter’s thumb.

Last time I saw a face like that it was hanging at the Hunter’s Lodge.

As much use as a trap door on a lifeboat

It’s colder than a penguin’s bollocks

She’s got a face like a picture - it needs hanging

You’ve got about as much chance as finding a vegetarian pit bull terrier

She’s had more pricks than a second hand dartboard

As rare as a Blonde virgin

I’ve seen more hair on a billiard ball

He’s as camp as a row of tents

I’ve seen better teeth on a worn out gear box

They call her ‘The radio station’ cuz she’s so easy to pick up

As useful as a grave robber in a crematorium

You could park a bike on that bum

He’s as red as an overdrawn account at the local blood bank

He’s got a face as long as an undertakers tapemeasure

Whiter than a pair of Snow White’s knickers

sorry about hte swearing if i care

About as innocent as a Nun doing pressups in a Cucumber field.

They’ve got a picture of her at the hospital - it saves using the stomach pump

lol…some of those are quite funny. others i dont get :stuck_out_tongue: lol but nice work.

lol they’re funny…i didnt get camp 1

lolz funny

hahahahahha! classic!


Not funny.

lol, some are funny…
others i dont get

yeah - some i dont get either - my brother told me them that i dont get

Its selected humour…

wat du u meen “selected jokes”?