Sum it all up why most people think Monkey Madness is really annoying.

I manage to save all of the people for Recipe for Disaster except one (which is the monkey). Problem is, saving him requires a really hard quest which is monkey madness. I heard it is really annoying (and lots of enemies poison you for fun) and after looking through the quest guides, although i haven’t tried this yet but i can sum this all up from our guides database:

  1. Go over to the Reinitialization Panel, and you will discover a sliding puzzle. Some of you may find this easy, as it is similar to the sliding puzzle boxes in level 3 clues. If you would prefer to skip the puzzle, you can pay 200,000gp to skip it.

Now this one is annoying, isn’t it (puzzle).

  1. The monkey guard will patrol 3 times, then switch with his partner - escape then. Be sure not come in the squares around the door when the guard is patrolling though, you will take 13 damage. When you escape, go to the north of the jail, and hide in the long grass.

  2. Go to the east of the jail and hide in the long grass outside the temple, which is just east of the crafting store. There is an altar in here, and you can recharge your prayer points if need be, but beware of the level 167 monkeys inside. (You may also see a little gnome hiding in the grass, you don’t need to talk to him, but it wouldn’t kill you).

  3. Now, this is all about stealth and tactics, think Splinter Cell. Head south, keeping to the long grass, and go around the outskirts of the temple. You should see a little house soon, go towards it, and hide against the east wall, talk with the sergeant (Garkor) there. Don’t worry, the monkeys can’t see you, despite the fact there’s a giant, gaping hole in the wall (maybe they should redecorate some time, eh?).

Step 11, i pretty sure this pisses you off alot.

Ape Guard: Hmmmmmm… is that a human standing the front of the cell.
2 seconds later
Hans: Welcome to Lumbrage noob!

And 13 is pretty much bothering.

Now the next one is real annoying:

  1. Now, we need to find the mage. This, I found, was the most annoying and frustrating part in the game. First, teleport back to Al-Kharid, restore on food, prayer pots, antis, teleport runes, etc. Then take the glider back to the Gnome Tree Stronghold, talk to Daero again, Talk to Waydar, and then Lumdo, who will take you back to the Atoll (annoying, isn’t it?).

  2. Head due west until you see a ‘!’ on the map. Go down the tunnel and follow it all the way around until the end. I know this is easier said than done. Zombie monkeys will poison and attack you, rocks will fall on you, the level 142 skeletons will cause you some serious damage and there are the same traps as in underground towards the end. Bear with me, and get to the end as fast as possible (sorry for no picture).

  3. Talk with Zooknook, the mage, and he will ask you to require some materials to change you into a monkey. You’ll need a gold bar, something to with monkey speech (dentures), a Monkey Speak Ammy mould (M’speak mould), monkey remainscorpse and a monkey talisman. When you are done teleport back to Al-Kharid.

Ok, now we deal with undead monkeys that poison you (just like the ones from shilo village quest), rocks crush into your skull, and pain in the ass skeletons attacking you. Wow! Now this is really upsetting. This is truely hell!!

  1. Restock and get back to the Atoll (stop complaining!). Time to get back in prison (don’t worry, I got nabbed 12 times, see if you can beat that). Get out, and sneak north again, then east and hide in the long grass near the temple. Go south, sticking to the long grass as usual, and then run directly south, then west and enter through the back door of the second building you’ll see.

  2. When you enter the door, search this crate (see map below) from the angle I show you, otherwise you’ll get caught.

  3. When you’ve got the dentures, drop down the southeastern most crate (you may take up to 22 damage). When you drop down go right to the northwestern corner, search one of the crates there and you should get the M’Speak ammy mould.

  4. Teleport off the Atoll, restock, get back to the Atoll, you know the drill this time though; bring your gold bar and a ball of wool. When you get there, you need to go back down the tunnel and give the mage your gold bar, he’ll give back an enhanced gold bar (it’s green).

  5. Tele out and get back to the Atoll, back in jail again, and remember that temple you hid beside? You need to go in it this time. Beware of the lv167 monkeys, just run east of them and down the ladder that’s there (you can also recharge your prayer points at the altar there)

  6. Use your gold bar with the wall of fire.

  7. When you have used your gold bar with the wall of fire (presuming you have all the items) you should get a M’Speak Amulet. String it, and then run back up top, recharge prayer points if necessary, and out of there, back into the long grass.

Returning back to prison for all of this pisses you off isn’t it?

  1. Go west of the jail, and go to the rather large, sparse house. Hide in the little ‘alley’ bit. You’ll see a monkey child, and possibly, his aunty. Wait until the auntie’s out of sight, and then talk to the monkey child (with your M’Speak ammy equipped of course). Talk to him for a while and tell him you’re his uncle, and he will say his aunty will give him a toy if he gets 20 bananas, but he cant count. Pick some bananas from the trees nearby, and give him like 5. You’ll have to wait a little while (try logging out, then in) and talk to him again and ask to borrow his ‘toy’. The toy in fact is the monkey talisman you need.

Ok, now I’m pretty sure this is the one that piss most people off. It’s like 5 second later, the auntie comes in.

You: Time to talk to the monkey kid
walks up to the kid
2 seconds later
Auntie: OMFG!!! A human is about to rape my baby! Guards!
You wake up 2 hours later
You: Damn it! I’m in jail!

It’s like you only have 1 second to talk to him. and you go back to step 11.

  1. Now, teleport back to Al-Kharid and get out a lot of food and prayer pots (no anti-poison potions). I strongly recommend ranging or maging the Jungle Demon (level 195). If so, wear your ranging/maging gear, get all your food ready, and only when you are sure you’re ready, wear the sigil.

  2. Battle time Smile Run away from the demon at the start, turn on mage protect and start ranging/maging it when it cannot hit you with melee. When I ran away, the demon didn’t chase me, probably too scared of me. Anyway, turn on mage protect and when you’ve mopped the floor with the demon (I found it very easy at 65 range) talk to the mage, who will teleport you to the king. Talk with good, old Narnode and you’ll have completed the quest! Go on you cant hide that tear of satisfaction?

Now I’m pretty most people don’t mind fighting a tough demon but how the heck can you position yourself to be safe and range and mage (when i saw the screenie it was a gigantic open arena).

Now i summerize the big three upsetting spots:

  1. the jail
  2. the cave
  3. the auntie

Here’s the thing about me:

  1. I have bad timing sometimes and do actions in a wrong time.
  2. The quest i did, legends, was the hardest quest i did.
  3. My stats and items:

Aw. it just utterly suck!!! 51 prayer pots aint good enough and regular anti-poison wont do it. And what’s this! My ranging also sucks!!! Well magic lvl is ok but my ranging wont do for the demon. And I don’t have super stuff and swordies aint do. I need more kick ass food like curry or potato with corn and tuna, or sharks.

  1. possible results from this quest:
    a) develop hate on monkeys
    b) may not able to own this quest
    c) bad timing results big busted

Sum this up: I’m aint ready and I’m ain’t good enough and I just wont do this. In fact, final bosses for receipe for disaster requires desert treasure and you must fight them without prayer (big pain here). And all of these kitchen items aren’t as good as an obby maul. But if anyone dares me or i push myself to the extreme, here is what i do:

  1. First, herblore, i want to make my OWN super sets and super pots as buying prayer pots and other super pots is like spending a million bucks (trust me, my money making skills aren’t the best and i suck at merchanting)
  2. ranging, i heard the best results on the demon is ranging (or dwarf cannon will do).
  3. Food: good cooking lvl shall overcome this crap.
  4. Remember, gnomes are noobs because they follow guthix. And eventually we may see another npc battle like the battlefield with khazard and the gnomes (this time, monkeys vs. gnomes which the gnomes will be utterly owned).
  5. agility, this quest needs good agility right.
  6. Finally, good timing, the top three annoying parts i listed needs good timing.
  7. Be brave and don’t be a chicken.

So i would need to do all of this if i want to do monkey madness and save the stupid monkey for receipe for disaster. I rate the 100th quest, the hardest. And I’m not going to push myself to do two quests harder than legends.

eventually, i forsee that it is going to be a big war between monkeys and gnomes. And i was wondering wtf did those monkeys and apes do to those humans. Do they:

  1. sent to cells and purposely starve them like the quest
  2. use as slave labour like “Planet of the Apes”
  3. use for sacrifice to their idiotic god.

lol monkey madness isnt hard, you dont even need protect prayers for the demon.

Monkey madness is an hour job, max 2 hours. most pures manage to do it at like lvl 30.

problem is, it requires lots of good timing.

  1. You dont need any potions for this quest, unless your a prayer noob. (i did it with 36 prayer kay?)

  2. Lol cannon, thats funny. it took me about 50 bronze arrows at lvl 61 range to kill it.

  3. Lobs.

  4. Nope.

  5. Nope. All you need to be able to do is walk past a giant gorilla while he chats with his mate, is that so hard?

  6. Nope.

oh and btw, the gnomes do most of the work vs the demon for you, as long as you attack it, they attack it aswell. they arent actually ‘noobs’ like you say.

well monkey madness isnt really hard as everyone made it seem. sites that gives tips on how to do it like runehq make it seem like your going to die in this quest no matter what. to tell the truth the part with the jail isnt really hard.

first if your stuck in jail wait until one monkey guard comes right in front of the cell then walks to the back, this is your signal to pick the lock, once you do you will see the gaurd heading to the room to switch with his partner, now you begin to run toward the exit, it usually takes the gorrilas about 30 seconds to switch which is plenty of time to run out and behind the jail.

also the part that i will argee is annoying is the dungeon leading to zooknock the gnome mage. but if you have 43+ prayer, just bring super enegry pots and run right through the whole thing watching your prayer.

so monkey madness isnt that hard although you do get attacked alot, i suggest just do peices bit by bit and if you get nervous about food then tele and restock.

yeah but what about the part i get to the aunt? And i thought prayer doesn’t protect you from the falling rocks.

the rocks do a max of 3 damage, i walked though most of the dungeon and only ate 5 lobs, ive been though that dungeon 3 times to get different greegrees.

well the prayer doesnt protect the rocks, it protects the other monsters down there from hitting you like the zombie monkies becuase ive gone down there 7 times to get all of the money form greegrees.

and the aunt part isnt that hard, theres a spot you can stand in the house next door which connects to the backyard of the aunt and nothing will see you. then when the aunt walks out of her backyard you run in and talk to the monkey, but once shes heading back out of her house into her yard then run back next door.

i know that but i never knew how long the aunt leaves her child alone where i can talk to him.

It’s a challenge, it’s what makes it fun.

Its actully easy, Just long and need lots of antis.
The Demons is easy, I just ran around till it got stuck and maged it with Protection prayer on.

I havent start MM but I dont want to do it just yet. :smiley:

[b]Now i summerize the big three upsetting spots:

  1. the jail

  2. the cave

  3. the auntie[/b]

  4. Erm…not really hard at all :expressionless:

  5. Yeah, that was pretty annoying, but the monkies dont poison you, little spiders do.

  6. Nah, she takes awhile to get all the way back around to her son. You may have to hide…like 2 or 3 times max.


51 prayer pots aint good enough and regular anti-poison wont do it

Lol, I did this quest at around 70 combat. 51 prayer pots is MORE than enough and regular antipoison is ALL you need…

Sorry, but why don’t you try the quest first instead of complaining about how hard it is…?

lol i know a friend that did the quest at lvl 50, and he aint a pure either so i dont mean to be rude but ur acting like a ***** big time…

hmmmm…i could bring super energy pots for the parts when i have to run my butt of through the caves and turn protect from melee 100% of all time until i reach zoonock.

Ok, i recently started the quest. I manage to solve to puzzle without wasting money and manage to get the monkey dentures first and…aw crap! I forgot the monkeyspeak ammy mould!!! No matter, ill get it on my second trip.

yea ill be starting the quest soon, it seemes realy hard or so ive heard

i hated that quest so much. i didn’t care if the reward was good, i never got the chance to finish it, because the dumb jungle demon kept killing me, so good luck!

if your really that worried about it, you can do it with my lvl 42 friend, hes a range pure and hes doing it sometime soon, he only started playing rs about a month ago lol…

That’s a long post .)