~ Top Ten ~

Please help me complete this top 10 list. Keep it original, anyone can use Google.

Top Ten things not to say to a Police Officer:

1.) Wanna Race? - Archas
2.) Could you hang onto my beer for a second? - Arawnius
3.) Arent you from the Village People? - Google

Hey officer? Want to see my guns?

Im not going over the border to sell your good pals any drugs ;).

^ Idk just made something up

As guns, do you mean the muscles?

I’m on my way to go kill somebody.

Yes, I do. But it could also mean firearms.

Hold my beer for a second please.

Top Ten things not to say to a Police Officer:

1.) Wanna Race?
2.) Come on,write the ticket,the bars close in 10 minutes
3.) Well,my gun fell on my lap,which made me spin out of control
4.)No,you assume the position…
5.)Didnt I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
6.)Arent you from the Village People
7.)Whoops,thats the fake one…Heres the one
8.)I got to get my license,can you hold my beer?
9.)Geez Officer,your eyes looked glazed,have you been eating doughnuts?
10.)You’re lucky this car doesnt have tune-up,or I have never got caught
11)What Exactly is “Legally Drunk”?

to female cops:
yes miss?..i mean sir.
hey wanna see MY gun hulster?

to any cop:
HA! you call that a gun? cheak this out.

those were what i came up with on the spot…lol

So,whats a good bribe go around here?

Well,when I bent down,my gun fell off my lap,forcing me to drive out of control.

Can you give me one of those full body cavities please?

Sorry officer,I didnt know my radar detector was plugged in.


Hey officer…after you right my ticket do you wanna come to the bar with me?


Officer: Umm…sir wheres your shirt?
Person: Going streakin’…wanna come?
Officer: um…your not going anywhere now your underarrest.
Person: Fine fine…but hold my beer and cigs while i put my shirt back on.

I know they suck lol

Well,I saw your lights on,but I thought you were getting a doughnut.

Do you know of any good hookers?

List edited - post some more please!


I hope you realize that you just ruined a perfect record.

I tried the other stuff I had,but you’re just to uptight.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.

hows that? (found it lol)

Here’s a good one ;).

Hey officer, see that man over there? His name is Andrew…would it be any trouble to arrest him?

Response: NO way!! I love the game he made, play it all the time :D.

Source:JUst thought of it
lol officer says “U now y i pulled u over”
u say “Cause u smealt dounuts in the trunk?”

and theres Sniff Sniff Sniff i smell bacon

EDIT:3,100 post

I thought you had to be in relatively physical good shape to be a Police Officer…

Im not using google, Im using a poster from spencer gifts.

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive.
The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.

“There ain’t no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought, and stepped on the gas. The needle hit 90, 100, 110, 130, and finally, 150 with the lights still behind him.
“What in the devil am I doing?” he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

“I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like
more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I
haven’t heard before you can go!”

“Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” the man said, “and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”

“Have a nice night”, said the officer.

Is it to long?..but i had to post Lol…